Why did I make that decision?

The LORD directs our steps,
so why try to understand everything along the way?
Proverbs 20:24

Why did I get fired/let go/laid off from that job? Why didn’t I take that opportunity? Why did I take that opportunity? What caused me to make that decision – it is unlike me to do so? Why didn’t I buy Bitcoin at $2,000? Or why didn’t I hold on to the five Ethereum I had that I paid $80 each for? Why didn’t I hear about Bitcoin earlier? What if I had just spent $10 on it when it was less than a penny?!

These questions haunt me sometimes. If I would have done this and not that or that and not this. How different my life would have turned out.

We often assume a lot in these statements. It is a fallacy to do so. We can’t know what would have happened if we would have made a different decision.

But in some instances we know exactly the immediate effect a different decision would have made.

I think this relates a lot to decisions regarding moral issues – right and wrong.

When we make wrong decisions there are negative consequences.

If I hadn’t stolen that purse, I wouldn’t have been arrested and spent time in jail.

Yup, a different decision – not to steal the purse – would not have caused me to be arrested or gone to jail.

But what if I didn’t steal the purse, maybe there was a car I would have stolen and ended up being arrested and being in jail for longer?

If I were to steal a purse and car in CA there would be no negative consequences but that is a different story.

God doesn’t direct our steps to do wrong because He is God. He can’t sin. He is perfect and does not violate His being.

No. When we sin that is our nature acting out. But we are forgiven because we repent. Though there are still negative consequences on this earth we pay for.

This verse really speaks to me in the area of direction in my life.

When we face decisions, we ask God for help and He promises us He will guide us along the best pathway for our life. That He will advise us and watch over us.

I still do not know why God opened a door for me years back.

I was working in finance, in investment research for an institutional fund. I enjoyed learning and digging on financials of companies but I couldn’t move up in my current role as I didn’t have an MBA. I just finished my undergrad and didn’t want to go back to school. I was hungry and wanted to earn a good living.

I prayed for over a year for a new opportunity. I applied for jobs, interviewed for a number of them during this time. I had one hopeful job, where I had 3 interviews and just nailed them. I had 1 interview left which was essentially a formality where I would meet with the staff and manager in person. The company was scheduling a time when all of a sudden there was a hiring freeze – due to market conditions. Just stopped. I never heard from them again.

Great. What is going on Lord? This was going well and it was in research for a large fund in Los Angeles that had potential for upward movement. I could go somewhere there I thought.

Not too long after that, I was at church on Sunday. The pastor invited anyone who had a need/request to meet with his prayer staff at the front of the podium. I walked up and prayed with a man to ask God to create a new job opportunity for me. Felt good and that was it.

The next day at work, Monday morning, I’m at my desk working and an e-mail goes out to the entire firm. A position on the trade desk opened up due to a trader leaving the company. I looked at it and thought, this isn’t research, I have no interest in trading. Not interested and deleted the email.

Within a minute, my existing boss walked up to my desk and whispered, “Did you see that email about the trader position that opened up?” “Yes, I did but I’m not interested in trading at all.” “You should consider it because you could do very well at it. If you want the position it’s yours. The head trader knows you could do a great job at it.”

Hmm. Then I started wondering, is this from God? Is this the opportunity he has for me? But my gut said no.

I went to my pastor and explained everything. His advice on the job was something along the lines of it was a new opportunity, perhaps it is from the Lord. He never said take the job but that it was something I could try or give it a shot.

I asked my mom and she said essentially the same thing.

I prayed about it but never felt like I got a clear answer.

My boss kept encouraging me.

I was planning on proposing to my girlfriend and was looking for move up, with more money, benefits and upward mobility.

I reluctantly expressed my interest and before I knew it I was on the trade desk working from 2pm-12am Sunday – Thursday.

I hated it. All of it. I hated working with the trader as she was difficult, combative, and passive aggressive.

I sought the Lord for the entire 6 months I worked in that role. Why am I here? I thought this as an opportunity from you Lord? Help me. Please Jesus.

One night when I was driving home on the 15 headed north, as I was passing Miramar Air Station I started crying and said to the Lord, “thank you Jesus for loving me, thank you that it’s ok to resign. I’m going to resign.”

I felt at that moment I had permission to resign and look for another job. I felt immediately relieved and had a renewed hope for the next stage.

The next day, I put in my 2 weeks much to everyone’s surprise.

Why did I take the job? My gut was to say no and I didn’t give it a second thought until my boss, my mom, and my pastor told me it was a great opportunity.

Looking back at it now, I think the biggest factor was that the opportunity opened up the day after I prayed.

Coincidence? I don’t think so.

I asked for help and God opened a door.

I don’t have a good answer as to why this went down the way it did.

But this verse speaks to me big time. I don’t have to understand everything along the way.

God was and is directing my steps and He is in control.

I suspect this is walking not by what I see but by faith in Him. In His plan. In His word.

Happy Saturday.

Your brother in Christ,
Dave

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