15 Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.
18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?
Sex is bad
Growing up in the church and attending many other churches during my life, it seems like whenever sex is brought up – if at all – it is always in the context of sexual immorality – which is a obviously sin. God hates sexual immorality. This is 100% correct and good for us because it is God’s instruction.
We live in a time where sexual immorality is in front of us everywhere we turn. Mobile devices make it possible for us to be exposed to it 24 7.
We need to read the scripture daily, seeking Jesus to give us strength and victory to remain pure.
We need our church leaders/pastors/teachers to continually encourage us to be diligent in the fight against this evil the devil uses to derail us and cause us to stumble.
However… if churches/teachers/preachers/parents only teach about sexual sin and nothing else or very little about anything else relating to sex, the context of sin will always be negative, dirty, wrong, and shameful.
This has led us to associate sex with sin and over time this idea becomes a belief. Sex = SIN and No sex = purity.
Wrong.
King Solomon here is instructing his son to not have sex with strangers.
Sex is good
King Solomon instructs his son to share love and intimacy with only his wife. No one else.
He goes on to tell his son to enjoy her love and to be satisfied by her breasts and to be captivated by her love!
I feel instantly aroused when I read this, and then a slight sense of wrong for an brief moment. It used to be much worse. Maybe some of that wrong feeling comes from being taught implicitly over time associating sex with sin and at best it is a necessary action for procreation.
Perhaps more of the wrong feeling comes from not being biblically instructed or educated by my parents. They let the school system educate me on the birds and the bees.
Me not seeking the Lord diligently when I was younger – i.e. not reading the scripture daily and nor taking it literally early enough in life probably has something to do with this wrong feeling.
But if God created the Heavens and the earth, man and woman, and everything in the world, didn’t he create the act of sexual intercourse between man and woman? Should we label what God designed to be bad or sinful?
We shouldn’t.
Sex is an amazing blessing God created for us to enjoy within marriage.
God created Adam and then Eve. He instructed them to be fruitful and to multiply. On one man and one woman.
God could have designed man and woman to procreate in any way He wanted.
He chose and designed the act of sex for a man and woman to come together to become one, to be intimate, and to produce new life.
God’s blessing of intimacy, sexual fulfillment, and oneness are reserved only for marriage.
King Solomon says to drink water from your own well. Share your love with only your wife – not with anyone else.
Sex outside of marriage is sexual immorality and is a sin.
No exceptions.
And we need to be taught this and remember this daily.
More importantly we need to follow this instruction from the Lord.
Just look at any prostitute, or anyone else having sex outside of marriage.
Are they fulfilled? Joyful? Do they encourage others? Are their lives stable?
Negative.
Having sex with my wife is exciting, fun, and satisfying. All of the intimate feelings, the sounds, the smells, the touching, the exploring, the openness of being naked and being accepted by her is thrilling, fulfilling, wonderful, and pure. God’s design and blessing of sex is perfect. And so much fun!
Thank you Yahweh for your design! Thank you Jesus!
Over time, my feelings of guilt revolving around sexual intimacy with my wife have left. I know it is the Lord restoring me and fixing the incorrect assumptions and feelings I used to have about sex.
Now, after sex I feel no guilt, no shame, no questioning, – simply gratefulness to Yahweh for designing us this way.
Perhaps, you struggle with feelings of guilt/shame/embarrassment revolving around sex with your spouse. In the name of Jesus I pray that He removes all the negative feelings surrounding sexual intimacy and that He blesses you with comfort, fulfillment, and closeness through intimacy with your spouse.
I hope this post encourages you to seek the Lord and His purpose in sexual intimacy he designed for you and your spouse.
I wanted to go in so many directions regarding this topic but this just scratches the surface on what the Lord has been working on my heart over the years.
I will delve into various offshoots in the future on this but I felt like this needed to be said and hope others are encouraged by what God has been fixing in me.
God bless you and your spouse with His amazing love and let Him bring you two closer together than you thought possible!
In love,
Dave
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